Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Self-introduction and communication reflection

Subject: Self-introduction and communication reflection

Dear Mr Blackstone,

My Name is Yong Quan, and I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in business administration.

After my National Service, I decided to further my studies by enrolling into Singapore Institute of Technology, in sustainable infrastructure engineering (land). The reason why I chose to study engineering over business is primarily because I felt that the course is much more relevant in today’s context, hence securing a better prospect for my future employment and career.

Being a business student allowed me to hone my presentation skills as there were numerous projects and assignments that required us to express and explain our work in the form of presentations. Overtime, I improved as both a speaker and presenter, as I became more eloquent with words, and more confident when expressing myself.

However, despite my improvements, I still feel anxious and nervous sometimes when I find myself speaking in front of a large crowd or audience. During my polytechnic days, there were times during presentations where I blanked out, and lost my train of thought. Situations like these discourages me, and I tend to stutter to recover, sometimes even resorting to reading off the slides.
Thus, one goal that I wish to achieve through this Effective Communication class is to overcome my anxiety and stage fright when I am presenting, to become a better and more eloquent speaker. On top of that, I also wish to be able to improve on my professional writing skills, as I believe it will become relevant in the future, after I graduate from school and enter the workforce.

I look forward to the upcoming lessons in Effective Communication class, and I hope I can continue to improve both my soft and writing skills.

Best regards,
Ho Yong Quan
SIE2016, Group 5

Edited 11th September
Edited 14th  September
Edited 27th September

Commented on:
Keric's blog
Jasson's blog
Jerome's blog


Keric Phua said...

Became more eloquent with your words siol.

Anyway, the word "Polytechnic" in "During my Polytechnic days" need not have its first letter capitalized because polytechnic is not a proper noun, unless you are talking about Singapore Polytechnic specifically.

Hong Yu said...

Hi Yong Quan,

I can see you have a clear formatting for your email, which is pretty good.

However, there are a few minor mistakes that you had made and I have pointed out below:

1. From paragraph 1, "diploma in Business Administration.” As said in Prof Brad's lecture, the diploma's name should not be capitalized i.e. diploma in business administration.

2. From paragraph 2, "...enrolling into Singapore Institute of Technology, in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Land)". Enrolled in SIT's Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Land) programme would be better.

Jasson Juay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jasson Juay said...

Hi Yong Quan,

I have enjoyed reading your blog. The intention of your reflection is clear and it is also well structured, with paragraphing at different sections of the reflection.

Good job and I hope you can improve on your weakness in this module!

Best regards,

cheron !! said...

Hi Yong Quan,

Your blog is well written and structured, making it easy to read.

I hope that by the end of this course the weaknesses mentioned will be your strengths instead.


Joel Billy said...

Dear Yong Quan,

Kudos to the reflection you wrote. It has good written structure and is easy to understand.

You may wish to include these into the reflection.

1. At second Paragraph line 3, I feel there is no need to include the word primarily because you did not state your comparisons. Perhaps you could write something like "the reason why I chose to pursue a degree in engineering is because .... hence..." this would also reduce word count:)

2. Commendable transition in explaining the nerve wrecking moments while giving presentations.

Good job and keep growing, it is normal to feel butterflies in the stomach. When life throws you lemons, make lemonade friend. Turn adversities into your strengths:)

Joel Leow Zhi Yuan

Jerome Alexander Tay said...

Hi Yong Quan

A nice self-introduction blog post that allows me to know you better through reading your post.
Below are just some comments from me that may be able to help and improve on your blog post.

Para 2, Line 1. "I decided to further my studies by enrolling into Singapore Institute of Technology, in sustainable infrastructure engineering (land)."
-It would be smoother by mentioning which course you decided to enroll into, followed by the school/ institution.

Para 3, Line 3. "Overtime, I improved as both a speaker and presenter..."
-Should use Over time instead of Overtime. As Overtime means for an extended period of time, while over time is a synonym for gradually.

I felt that your strength, weakness and goal a little bit contradicting.

Jerome Tay

Brad Blackstone said...

Dear Yong Quan,

Thank you for this clear and concise yet detailed letter. I like how you provide concrete supports for your description of your background and reason for joining SIT and the weaknesses and strengths in communication, and how you connect these with your goals for the module. I also appreciate the smooth flow/coherence of your ideas.

While your fluency is very good, there is one sentence where your language use needs review:

x) Positions like these discourages me... >>> (subject-verb disagreement) ?

This is a minor flaw, one that shouldn't eclipse the fine points in this letter.

I appreciate your effort.


hoyongquan said...

@Keric, HongYu, Joel and Jerome

Thank you for commenting and pointing out the mistakes in my reflection.
Your efforts are all appreciated!

@Jasson, Cheron, Brad

Thank you for commenting and expressing your thoughts, opinions and encouragement on my reflection. Your efforts are all appreciated!

Best regards,